In just a few short months, Husband and I will be coming up on four years of marriage. Now, I know that’s not a SUPER long time, but we’ve already outlived a number of Hollywood marriages, and that has to say something, right? Ours is not the perfect marriage, as no one’s is, but every day, I learn a thing, or two, that helps us grow.
One thing that I’ve learned is that there are multiple clichés/sayings, out there, that are meant to be helpful and amusing, when it comes to marriage. The reality of it is that they are actually obnoxious and sometimes arrogant, and they should never be followed/encouraged.
Don’t go to bed angry; stay up and fight. I’m sorry, but there are times when you actually should go to bed angry. When it’s nearing midnight, you’re both tired, and you’ve been running around in circles, arguing about basically nothing for the last 45 minutes, you need to know when to call it quits. From my experience, nothing good ever comes from staying up and arguing; it just makes things worse. If the issue absolutely needs resolved, get a good night’s sleep, and revisit it the next day, when your eyes are no longer glazed over.
Start each day with a clean slate. This one goes hand-in-hand with the above cliché. If there are still things that need hashed out, the slate isn’t exactly clean. A more appropriate version of this saying would be, “Start each day with a clear head.” Don’t just ignore things and hope that they go away. I promise they’ll come back up later, with a vengeance.
However, once peace has been made with an issue, don’t keep bringing it up during later arguments.
You and your spouse should have similar hobbies. I mean, if you and your husband happen to meet in the middle on some things, that’s awesome. You should definitely have hobbies that you like doing together, but differences are what keep things exciting! Definitely have interests that are your very own.
More important than having the same hobbies, know when to take one for the team and do something with your spouse that you don’t absolutely love doing, just for the sake of doing it together. Caleb doesn’t adore wandering around Forever 21 with me, just like I’m not usually dying to go to gun/Army surplus stores with him. Sacrifices, man. Sacrifices.
Marriage is just fancy word to adopt an over-grown male child, who is no longer handled by his parents. Any variation of the dumb husband or nagging wife quotes drive me insane. For my hometown friends, who know what The Varsity Grille is, there’s nothing like walking into the ladies’ room and seeing quotes like, “Marriage is the only war where you’re sleeping with the enemy,” among other brilliant marriage-related quotes, plastered on the wall.
Sayings that degrade marriage and the people in it aren’t helping anyone. Of course, it’s important to have a sense of humor, but not at the expense of your spouse. In the words of Taylor Swift, “Why ya gotta be so mean?”
Honey-do lists. No. Nope. Forget it. If I walked in, and my husband had hand-written a list of all the shit that I needed to accomplish around the house/errands that needed to be run, that would probably be one of those nights when I’d have to go to bed angry. I am not a child. I do not need to be told what to do by my husband, and I’m sure it’s equally annoying when a man comes home to a honey-do list on the counter, signed with a lipstick print.
Instead of the honey-do list, just ask your spouse (nicely) to fix the leaky faucet, take out the trash, or whatever it is that needs done to help lighten your load.
Any reference to the ol’ ball-and-chain. Does it really make anyone feel good to be referred to as an item that was used to restrain prisoners? Especially in reference to marriage? Just think about that for a second.
Can all of these things just go away? Pretty, please?
Obviously, I’m no marriage counselor; these are just some things I’ve noticed. Every marriage is different, and we’re all doing our best, so if you’ve found what works, even if it is a silly cliché, just keep doing what you’re doing.
Are there any marriage quotes, pieces of advice, or sayings that you’re tired of hearing? I’d love to read your thoughts!