Dating someone in the army is the toughest thing that I’ve ever done – then I went and married him. Tonight has been one of those nights, and I’m looking around my now practically empty apartment (I’m moving everything out tomorrow), and all that I can do is think of the time that Caleb and I spent here together back in February. We went ice skating, had lovely dinners, lounged around watching American Dad and Family Guy, because they’re Caleb’s favorites, and ever since then, things have been substantially emptier. I go out and sit on the couch in the same place that he sat or scoot myself over to his side of the bed so things don’t feel so lonely, but, as you can imagine, these things don’t really work. Moving out sort of feels like I’m leaving all of that behind, in a weird way. We have memories here, however brief the time here was, and I don’t want to leave them.

I try to refrain myself from writing “poor me” blogs about how much I miss Caleb. People don’t want to read about my depressing mumbo-jumbo, and I don’t expect anyone to care, really. On the other hand, sometimes it just hurts. If I don’t do something enjoyable to occupy my time, I just get even sadder, and it just so happens for you lucky readers that I accidentally left my personal journal in Galion this week. This means that my blog is the next best thing.

I know that things could always, always be worse. It would just be nice to not have to wait four months or so between seeing each other. I’d like to have dinner together or to take a walk. I have to keep telling myself that in a few months, this will all be over (until next deployment), and then we’ll get to “play house,” as my mother-in-law calls it. ;] Plus, I need to get my tears in check because it’s unacceptable to ruin a perfectly good phone call from Caleb by being such a bawl-baby! Good grief. I just miss my husband, dangit! Someone pass the Kleenex.

xoxoxo
Ash